Food and Drug Administration Arrests Trans Fat

By Dave Sanasack, on Feb, 08 2015

Most Americans knew it would come to this some day. Apparently, the Trans Fat Police (TFP), after suffering a bout of irritable bowel syndrome, decided to eliminate trans fat from the public school diet. Mrs. O and the White House South Lawn Garden Police (WHSLGP) have changed the school lunch program to the point where kids won’t eat the government-approved and tasteless food. Gone are the long lunch lines with a somewhat balanced diet served by lunch ladies in hairnets who have been replaced by vending machines dispensing sugar in a can and trans fat in a bag.

They did this act of civil necessity by changing the all-important “status” within the regulation of the Food and Drug Administration, (FDA). Before the status was labeled “Generally Recognized as Safe.” Now the new status is ‘Yes, You Do Look Fat in Those Jeans.’